How To Lead Yourself Before Leading Others?

“The first person you have to conquer is you. This is because when at last you win over a million people, the first person to bring you down could be you. Discipline yourself!” — Israelmore Ayivor

Sometimes, negative motivation is what does the trick. And the above quote is although somewhat of a warning, yet encouraging. I read it once in a book by this author and it just stayed with me.

It’s true that when we are at a stage where we are supposed to lead people and team members see it as an amazing opportunity. We start curating strategies and sprouting with ideas on how to do it.

However, as time goes by, all these ambitions and enthusiasm just fades into the comforts and perks of that position and power. And somewhere between the battle of relaxing and leading, we lose the ability to self-lead first ― something that is known to diminish the leadership qualities of a person.

Sometimes, negative motivation is what does the trick. And the quote is somewhat of a warning, yet encouraging. I read it once in a book by this author and it just stayed with me.

It’s true that when we are at a stage where we are supposed to lead people and team members, we

So, what should a person do while stuck in such a limbo? What are the steps, measures (whatever you may want to call it) one should take to restore the spirit and ability to lead others by leading oneself first?

Here are a few highly-advised actions to take to start leading and managing yourself -

Be self-aware of your drawbacks

“What we find bad in others very often resonates with ourselves.” — Lars Sudmann

Do you remember criticizing people for being hypocrites? Well, you might also be on the other end of the rope. And as a leader, being aware of such hypocritical tendencies is something that is indispensable.

People giving you the right and honest criticism is not a “more often than not” situation. As a leader, you might find it challenging to get real insights about your shortcomings since your colleagues or subordinates might not be comfortable entertaining the truth and may answer diplomatically.

In such an instance, you are left with only one resort ― what Lars Sudmann calls― “character traits check.” You can ask your colleagues of someone who, in their opinion, wasn’t an ideal boss or a leader. Then, you can create a checklist mentioning all the bad qualities that people perceived as “not ideal in a leader”.

Going forward, you can compare yourself with this checklist and identify what qualities from this list you possess and to what degree. If you know what you are lacking, you can consciously work on it to improve. Believe me, this self-assessment will take you a long way not just as a leader but as a human being too. You just have to be committed to the resolution of improving.

You control your thoughts and not otherwise

It is an established fact that you become what you think. Your thoughts are the hammer and chisel that shape your personality. So, thinking positive, productivity-oriented, and leading thoughts will eventually show up in your behavior and will boost your ability to better manage others and yourself alike.

P.S. — You need to remember that leadership is a mindset and not a role. So, when you mold your thoughts in this direction, you will be able to perform better as a leader.

Reflect on yourself every day

You can call this a Marcus Aurelius approach. The emperor famed himself as a philosopher by focusing more on self-leadership than to try to rule others completely. And one step to do is self-reflection.

It is advised that you take approximately 5–10 minutes in a day to ponder on the challenges you have overcome recently and what you might face next. Some questions that you can address while doing so are — “How did my leadership go so far? What about my challenges today? What could I do differently?”.

Keep an open mind for learning new things

It’s never too late to learn something new. No matter what position you hold in an organization, as a human, and more specifically as a leader/boss, you need to grow so that you can help others improve.

A leader doesn’t have all the answers. He/she is someone who is always interested in acquiring more information and better ideas. For example, think of yourself as an empty cup, rather than the one already full to the brim, incapable of taking anything more.

Take control of your feelings

Being a leader doesn’t come easy. You might encounter frustrating circumstances, annoying colleagues, and want-to-pull-my-hair situations too. But as a leader, you are expected to behave accordingly.

So, how would you know when to react and when to let go?

It’s quite simple really. Whenever any situation occurs, you place it on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 being a situation not worth it and 10 being a high-priority situation. This way, you can easily assess the weightage of a situation and appropriate responses for it.

When you will start to implement these suggestions into your life, I am certain you will see eye-opening results, as did I. And moreover, don’t stop exploring new ways to become better.